Do I Have to Give Up Me
to Be Loved by You?

Available to

Most best-selling books on relationships have a meteoric popularity with a relatively short shelf life. Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by You? has proven to be a rare exception. The core of the book, a solid methodology for learning from, and resolving, the everyday problems we all face, has given it its longevity.

Now, almost two decades after its initial publication, a revised edition is available. Along with updating the material, two completely new introductions and chapters are included. The basic theory, still intact, is made even more powerful by the learning each of the authors brings to this new edition.

For example, in 1982 spirituality had a very limited place in the field of psychology. Now, the spiritual dimension forms the core of each author's life. What's really interesting is that even though love is the basis of each author' spirituality, their understanding and practice makes their spirituality very different. By taking what seems right for you, you can further build your own unique spiritual philosophy and thus gain a great deal for yourself from their differences.

From the original Introduction

As we formulated our theory, we came to question traditional therapy including our own...
We were victims of the false notion that change comes about merely by decision and will power. Most professional advice-givers (pop psychology books, religious leaders, newspaper columnists, etc.) reinforce this notion. Ideas for "better" ways of living include the unspoken expectation that change is easy. For example, if you want to be thinner, then choose a diet, and force yourself to stay on it. Just do it -- get thinner, or be sexier, communicate better, express your feelings more openly, listen to each other's feelings, stop feeling guilty, be stronger, be more loving, take time to meditate. But what do you do when your attempts to change fail, which they often do? Give up? Try harder, only to fail again? Either way your self-esteem is eroded.

The truth is that whenever we are unable to accomplish what we want, something very important is hindering us -- something so compelling and so powerful that even great efforts of willpower cannot prevail. The only effective way to accomplish the change we seek is to understand and overcome the powerful hidden motives that keep us fixed in our present behavior. The term we use for these deep motives is "intent." Intent is the purpose or the unspoken motivation behind what we do. It is always expressed by our behavior and reacted to be our partner, though usually invisible to both.



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© Copyright 2010. Dr Jordan Paul