• Have a more fulfilling relationship with yourself, mate, children, friends and work.
• Create your own sense of self-trust and well-being.
• Give and receive love by being of service.
• Resolve conflict that can get in the way of intimately connecting with others.

If you had difficulty deciding on your answers, don't believe that there are no wrong answers, or just want to learn more about fulfillment, read on

Closed or Open Heart

All "A" answers reflect a closed heart.  Hearts routinely close when we are afraid of losing something we are convinced we need for our sense of well-being, such as approval or a relationship.  The resulting protective feelings are hard and cold.  For example, the fear of losing a relationship creates jealousy, blame, depression or anger, and the controlling behaviors that follow which include accusations, yelling, hitting, criticism, and withdrawal are uncaring.  The fear of losing money creates greed, and the controlling behaviors that follow which include an insatiable desire to accumulate wealth or preying on others are uncaring. 

Although closed hearts produce many difficulties for others and ourselves, and never leave us feeling fulfilled, they are not wrong or bad.  Hearts close as a result of compelling fears.  Without that understanding, you're likely to hear yourself saying things like, "He's really a jerk," "She's really a bitch" or "I'm such an idiot."  Disrespectful judgements result when hearts close to closed hearts. 

The previous paragraph flies in the face of conventional knowledge and it is understandable if it's somewhat confusing.  But, respecting closed heart feelings and behavior is an important part of dismantling the beliefs and behaviors that leave us unsatisfied.  For that reason, it is a central focus of Fulfillment Coaching.

All "B" answers reflect an open heart.  When hearts open, soft and warm feelings, such as compassion and joy, flow naturally.  With compassion, protective feelings and behavior are never condoned or justified.  They are met with the faith that you handle whatever occurs.  Faith allows you either to keep your heart open in loving acceptance or, if a negative judgement is present, opens a desire to understand feelings and behavior until loving acceptance is reached.  Faith is the antidote to control.  Maintaining openness and caring, even in the face of difficulties leaves us feeling good about ourselves and allows for the two actions needed for fulfillment an openness to learning and being of service.

The Question

In any given situation, you may realize that you have responded with a closed heart and still choose not to open.  The negative consequences of keeping your heart closed may outweigh risking the vulnerability of an open heart.  That decision is understandable and respectable.  But, feeling the pain and sadness from that choice gives you another option.

Fulfillment Coaching is rooted in the question, "Is my heart open?" because realizing that your heart is not open, opens the possibility of doing something about it.  Although a closed heart is responsible for most of our dissatisfaction, we typically get stuck in the belief that others are causing our unhappiness.  The magic of "the question" is that it offers the opportunity to emerge from the quagmire of being a victim and learn to find peace of mind without having to get others to change.

The Questions After "The Question"

Unshackled from the yoke of believing something outside of you must change before you can be happy, you can experience the personal power that comes from taking charge of your life.  In the ongoing search for finding greater fulfillment, an openness to learning will guide you to confronting questions such as:

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